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Ask Lisi: Find Out What's Behind Teen Daughter's Sassy Attitude
Your daughter knows that what she's saying is bothering you, and so she thinks she has found your Achilles heel. Teenage girls and their mothers go head-to-head since time immemorial.
Dear Lisi: My husband and I met at university, became close friends, graduated, and then found each other in a museum in New York City looking at the same exhibit with friends. We started dating that day and the rest is history.
We now have two kids, both in high school. My husband is a professional, works hard, wins awards in his field, and is financially successful. I put my career on hold to raise my children, but now work part-time in an admin position that I really enjoy.
Recently, my daughter has been giving me a lot of attitude, saying she doesn't need to go to university, that she'll just marry someone rich like I did, and she'll never have to work. My husband keeps telling her that's not our narrative, but she doesn't listen.
She has two more years of high school, so it's not really important that she's saying these things right now. I know perfectly well how kids change throughout their high school years. But it's rude, sassy, and for some reason touches a nerve with me.
How do I deal with her?
Sassy teenYour daughter knows that what she's saying is bothering you, and so she thinks she has found your Achilles heel. Teenage girls and their mothers go head-to-head since time immemorial.
It will pass.
In the meantime, try to discover what is behind these statements. Is she having trouble in school academically? That could lead her to think she's incapable of succeeding in university, and here's her out.
Is she having friendship issues? Is there a discrepancy in lifestyle between her and her friends? That could be driving the financial aspect of her comments (though you said your husband is a good earner).
Is she having relationship issues, such that she feels she needs to be dependent on someone else for her future? I'm just throwing out ideas for you to pursue.
You said your husband works hard, but perhaps he can find some time to spend with your daughter. He may be able to get to the root of the problem without getting emotional or being the brunt of her lashing out.
No matter what, she needs to know she can't be rude to you or your husband.
Dear Lisi: My dad has given up on technology. He recently retired from his office job and took a leave of absence, as he calls it, from his computer. Six months later, he's decided he never wants to send another email again. He rarely carries his phone with him; if he has it, it's on silent so he doesn't hear it; and he can't be bothered to text.
My mother still works and needs to communicate with him throughout the day. He told her he'd call her at lunch time and again before she leaves the office, in case she needs something. She's so frustrated with him that when she gets home, all they do is argue.
My brother lives out of the country, so it doesn't affect him, though he also gets frustrated when he wants to talk to Dad and can't. I work from home and live close by so I just pop over if I need my dad. But the whole thing isn't sustainable.
How can I convince my dad to get back in to modern times?
TechnophobeI can empathize with your dad. Sometimes the multitude of communication that we all navigate on a daily basis can feel overwhelming. However, it is the normal way of life.
Take him out for lunch and explain to him how important it is for him to have a cell phone, to keep it on, and to answer when it rings. If he chooses never to email again, that's OK.
FEEDBACK Regarding the brothers-in-law (March 21):
Reader – "I do enjoy your column, however, felt your response to the brother-in-law showed bias, valueing settled family life over a successful entrepreneur or musician.
"Another possible reason, since they denied being upset or mad at the parents, is they do not enjoy being around the family as a whole; in which case your suggestion for a guys' weekend is excellent and may allow the opportunity for the brothers-in-law to reconnect and share more insights.
"The writer suggested the brothers-in-law changed since the pandemic. Everyone changed during the pandemic, including the writer, his wife and family. The writer was quick to express his perceived short-comings of his brothers-in-law, without considering how enjoyable getting together with his family really is. I'm certain a boys' weekend could help the situation (although not necessarily for the sister/mother/wife)."
Ellie Tesher and Lisi Tesher are advice columnists for the Star and based in Toronto. Send your relationship questions via email: ellie@thestar.Ca or lisi@thestar.Ca
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Car Insurance For Teens
Watching a teenager get behind the wheel of a car for the first time can be both exciting and nerve-wracking. Seeing the price of teenage drivers insurance is probably the latter. But why are young drivers so expensive to insure?
In this article, we at the Home Media reviews team will examine the coverage needs of teenage drivers and what factors influence the price of an auto insurance policy. Our research team has thoroughly reviewed providers to find the best car insurance companies, so we'll also give our recommendations for coverage.
What Is Car Insurance for Teenagers?While you may have heard the terms "teenage drivers insurance" or "teen car insurance," there's technically no type of car insurance policy exclusive to teenagers. Whether a driver is a 16-year-old or a 96-year-old, they'll need to meet a state's minimum requirements for liability insurance. If the car is being financed, a lienholder will likely require collision insurance and comprehensive coverage as well.
What's the Best Auto Insurance for Teenage Drivers?Determining the most appropriate level of coverage for teenage-drivers requires a knowledge of the basic coverage levels for auto insurance. The sections below contain basic information about each of the main coverage types:
Liability Insurance for Teenage DriversIf you're buying coverage for a teen driver or helping a new driver purchase their own policy, it's helpful to know the different types of insurance. Almost every state requires some form of liability car insurance, which covers damages for others when a driver is at fault. Here are the main parts of liability coverage:
The minimum level of liability coverage varies from state to state. For example, motorists in North Carolina are expected to carry 30/60/25 coverage, which means a policy would pay up to $30,000 per person for bodily injury, $60,000 per accident for bodily injury and $25,000 per accident for property damages.
Collision Auto Insurance for TeenagersCollision insurance protects your vehicle in the event of a collision, no matter who's at fault. Though collision coverage isn't required by state law, a lender will likely require it if you're financing a vehicle since it protects the investment.
Collision coverage will reimburse you for damage to your car and give you a payout up to the actual cash value (ACV) of the vehicle if it's deemed a total loss. However, collision insurance doesn't cover damage in non-moving situations.
Here are some situations that would involve filing a collision insurance claim:
Comprehensive insurance is another common requirement for drivers financing a vehicle. Unlike collision insurance, it's geared more toward non-driving scenarios.
Comprehensive coverage will reimburse you for damages in the event of:
Other types of insurance policies include:
According to our full coverage rate estimates, teenage car insurance averages $5,827 per year or $486 per month. Rates are higher for teenage drivers compared to other age groups for several reasons, which we'll explore further below.
Teenage Car Insurance Rates vs. Other Age GroupsHere's how car insurance for teenage drivers stacks up against other age groups:
What Affects Car Insurance Costs for New Drivers?As we mentioned above, age and driving records impact the price of insurance, but insurers weigh other factors as well. Local insurance minimums impact the price, and so do traits like the recorded gender on the driver's license in most states.
Here's a list of items insurance providers review while estimating premiums:
Teenage drivers' insurance costs more for several reasons. Insurance providers look at factors like age and driving experience when deciding insurance premiums, and being younger with little or no behind-the-wheel experience leads to higher car insurance rates.
That's because data shows younger, inexperienced drivers are usually more likely to be involved in serious accidents. In the United States, car crashes are the second leading cause of death among teens, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). The CDC also states that the risk for crashes is highest during the first months teens have their driver's licenses.
A report from the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety (IIHS) said over 2,300 teens between the ages of 13 and 19 were killed in motor vehicle crashes in 2019. The IIHS showed young males accounted for about two out of three teenagers killed in car crashes. Per mile driven, teen drivers aged 16 to 19 have crash rates almost three times higher than drivers aged 20 and older, according to the IIHS.
Do Teenage Drivers Need Car Insurance?Drivers should make sure their insurance policies provide adequate financial protection, but increasing coverage limits for teens can be a good idea since they're more likely to be in crashes.
Why Purchasing Enough Liability Coverage Is ImportantBuying the state-required minimum of liability coverage isn't enough to protect you from lawsuits, and sometimes it's not enough to cover an accident, according to the Insurance Information Institute (III).
If a state only requires $50,000 in bodily injury per accident and a driver causes $70,000 worth of medical bills, they're on the hook for the remaining balance. Depending on the value of your assets, it may be worth increasing coverage to $100,000 or more. This can help ensure a greater peace of mind when it comes to your teen's driving habits.
You Should Also Consider Accident ForgivenessAccident forgiveness keeps your insurance rate the same after the first at-fault accident on your policy. The "forgiveness" varies by state and insurer, and a policyholder usually has to be claim free for a number of years to be eligible or pay to add it to their policy.
Because some insurance companies include accident forgiveness for free and others offer it as an inexpensive add-on, it could save you money overall if your young driver has an at-fault car accident. This type of insurance isn't available from every provider.
Lastly, if a car is still being financed, you'll likely need to maintain comprehensive coverage and collision insurance until the loan is paid off — regardless of who is driving.
How To Save on Auto Insurance for TeensEven though teen drivers typically pay more for insurance coverage, there are a few options for lowering insurance costs. You should discuss how much the policy costs with your teen. This is also an opportunity to reinforce good driving habits and compare car insurance quotes to get the best rate.
Stay on a Parent's PolicyAdding a teen to an existing policy is typically less expensive than a young driver buying their own coverage, according to the III. Having an experienced driver as the policyholder will help them qualify for a better rate and may give you a greater choice of discounts. That said, adding a teen still means a bump in your insurance premium.
Look for DiscountsOne way to offset the price hike that follows a young driver is with discounts. Insurance providers offer several ways to reduce car insurance costs based on customers' demographics or the types of vehicles they own.
Here are some common car insurance discounts:
A deductible is the amount of money a policyholder pays up front for a claim before insurance coverage takes over. Having a low deductible means paying less money when you file a claim, but it usually comes with a higher insurance premium.
While raising your deductible can decrease your premium, keep in mind that filing a claim will be more likely if you have a teen on your policy.
Teenage Car Insurance: ConclusionYoung drivers can expect to pay significantly more for car insurance coverage. Because teen drivers lack the necessary experience on the road and are more likely to get in car accidents, insurance providers will always charge higher rates.
While overall costs may be high, there are still several ways you can reduce teenage car insurance costs, such as being aware of discount opportunities, comparing provider quotes and taking part in app-based safe driving programs.
What's the Best Insurance for First-time Drivers?Insuring a teenage driver can be a balancing act between price and the quality of coverage. Our insurance experts recommend getting auto insurance quotes from several companies and looking at comparisons like State Farm vs. Geico to see which providers meet your coverage needs.
Our Recommendations for Car InsuranceWe've identified State Farm and Geico as smart choices for young drivers. You can read more about them below.
State Farm Auto Insurance: Most Popular ProviderState Farm earns our top spot for young driver coverage due to its many discounts. Students can get 25% off their policy with the good student discount, as long as they who have a GPA of at least 3.0 or rank in the top 20% of their class. State Farm also rewards customers of all ages, offering a good driver discount as well as savings for drivers who have installed anti-theft devices. In terms of cost, we give State Farm 9.0 out of 10.0 stars. The company also has solid reviews for customer service.
Keep reading: State Farm review
Geico Auto Insurance: Editor's ChoiceGeico has built a strong reputation around keeping costs low and providing great customer service. According to the National Association of Insurance Commissioners (NAIC), Geico was the country's second-largest car insurance company in 2021. Similar to State Farm, Geico offers discounts for good driving and good grades. The Geico Mobile app also offers an easy way to view policy information or file a claim.
Keep reading: Geico insurance review
Car Insurance for Teenagers: FAQBelow you will find frequently asked questions about teenage car insurance.
If you drive your parents' car regularly or live with them, you must be a named driver on their car insurance policy for an accident to be covered.
According to our research, the best insurance for teenage drivers is from State Farm and Geico. Both companies offer car insurance discounts for students and good drivers and have strong industry ratings for customer satisfaction.
The cheapest way to insure a teenage driver is to meet a state's minimum coverage requirements for liability. However, lenders will typically require additional coverage for financed vehicles, and full coverage offers greater financial protection.
Car insurance for teens averages out to $5,827 per year ($486 monthly) — for ages 16 to 18. The annual average for 16-year-olds is $6,912, or $576 per month. For 17-year-olds, the average is $5,612 or $468 per month. For 18-year-olds, it's $4,958 annually or $413 per month. For 19-year-olds, the average is $309 per month or $3,708 per year.
Our MethodologyBecause consumers rely on us to provide objective and accurate information, we created a comprehensive rating system to formulate our rankings of the best car insurance companies. We collected data on dozens of auto insurance providers to grade the companies on a wide range of ranking factors. The end result was an overall rating for each provider, with the insurers that scored the most points topping the list.
Here are the factors our ratings take into account:
*Data accurate at time of publication.
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