You Need Help: You Fat-Shamed Your Beautiful Girlfriend
Thaddeus Tukes: Good Vibes
When Thaddeus Tukes arrived at Northwestern, he found the music scene disappointing.
So he went to work, co-founding the popular student jazz-based band the Syndicate. The vibraphonist, who also sings for the 10-member groove group, played Dillo Day three times and later launched Ra Sol Greater Minds, a music-content consulting group that aims to raise awareness of student artists. "We'll record, mix, master, make instrumentals, add live instrumentation — do everything really out of my apartment," he says.
Tukes, who grew up in the North Pullman neighborhood on Chicago's South Side, joined the Associated Student Government as vice president of diversity and inclusion during his sophomore year and later became a spokesperson for We Will. The Campaign for Northwestern. That experience opened up incredible opportunities — like a behind-the-scenes tour of the White House on his 21st birthday — and exposed the inner workings of the University, for better or worse.
"It really put me on the inside of the University," says Tukes, a Good Neighbor, Great University Scholarship recipient. "It opened my eyes not only to how Northwestern works but also to how it interacts with race, religion, gender and sexuality. Everything I did after that was influenced by that knowledge."
After a whirlwind year, Tukes is "working to make sure that Northwestern is becoming a better place for its students," focusing on issues of accountability to students and of diverse representation.
A jazz music performance major and music criticism minor, Tukes led the Northwestern chapter of the National Association of Black Journalists to student-chapter-of-the-year honors in 2015. He will study new media innovations and entrepreneurship in a new Medill graduate program next year. He's also releasing an album — a live recording of his senior recital — in August.
9 Captivating Traits Of People With 'Good Vibes' Who Are A Joy To Be Around
If you've ever been immediately drawn to someone you've just met, it could be because they're the kind of person who captures other people's attention for all the right reasons. They are the kinds of people who make you feel entirely happy when you're with them because their good vibes radiate out, and they share that joy with you.
1. They're totally empathetic.People with good vibes have deep-seated compassion toward themselves and others. They accept their own emotions and the emotions of others around them, without forcing anyone to change.
Performance specialist and influencer Shadè Zahrai explained in a TikTok post that there are three different types of empathy, including cognitive empathy, emotional or affective empathy and compassionate empathy.
People with good vibes have a highly attuned sense of compassionate empathy. They wonder what other people are feeling at any given moment, using that context to inform how they interact. They ask themselves if they've ever been in a similar emotional state and how they can help.
People who practice compassionate empathy are a joy to be around because they truly care about how you feel.
2. They're deeply honest.People who have good vibes are honest people to their core. They have a strong moral compass, which they use to guide all their interactions and relationships. They call it as they see it, yet they do so with kindness. They know the inherent value of showing up as their truest selves and they want to share the wealth of that knowledge with the people around them.
3. They're accountable to themselves and others.People with good vibes work hard to hold themselves accountable for their own actions. When they make a mistake, they say they're sorry and then change their behavior for the better. These people practice taking responsibility for themselves and they expect others to do the same.
Admitting that you've made a mistake is never an easy task, yet it's important to acknowledge that messing up is part of being human. We all have the capacity to cause harm, whether meaningfully or not; it's what we do after we've hurt someone that matters most.
According to Maurie Lung, a clinical psychologist and licensed family and marriage therapist, holding oneself accountable is the first part of the healing process. As Lung has stated, "We talk about the two aspects of an apology, the accountability for the action that caused hurt, and the connection to the heart and care for another. Sometimes this can come in two parts. The immediate can be the accountability, and when emotions settle, can come the connection."
4. They're generous.People with good vibes are considerate of others, in a truly genuine way. They give without expecting anything in return because they know that what matters most is the friendships they're cultivating.
True generosity can come in many forms and people with good vibes showcase all different kinds of giving. When a person with good vibes offers you their time or resources, it's because they really care about you and want to see you thrive. They know that kindness and compassion make the best gifts. Their joy becomes your joy, when they offer a helping hand.
5. They embrace other people's perspectives.It's never easy to put yourself in someone else's shoes, but a person with good vibes is always practicing that particular action. They're respectful of differences and embrace diversity because they know that what unites us is more powerful than what divides us. They care about other people's lived experiences and don't discount anyone else's story, even if it's different from their own worldview. A person with good vibes wants to know what makes you, you, and if your life looks nothing like their own, they'll still accept you with open arms.
6. They're nonjudgmental.People with good vibes accept you wholeheartedly, in your entirety — all the quirky parts, all the parts you feel insecure about. They love you for you.
As noted by Elise Howell, a licensed professional counselor associate, non-judgment can be defined as "a mindfulness practice of observing the events of your situation without judging them as good or bad."
Part of having a nonjudgmental attitude is rooted in the practice of mindfulness, which means you look at your own internal experience without forcing any meaning onto how you are feeling. There are no "good" or "bad" feelings; feelings just are.
According to a research paper published in 2019 in the journal "Personality and Individual Differences," being non-judgmental creates a stable sense of emotional well-being. The paper noted that "when individuals criticize themselves and their inner experience, they go through higher levels of suffering." The paper also stated that "individuals who tend to adopt a non-judgemental stance towards their own thoughts and feelings have lower depression and anxiety."
A person with good vibes carries their practice of non-judgment from their own internal world to the people around them. In accepting themselves fully, they also accept others in the same way.
7. They validate the people around them.People with good vibes know the true meaning of spreading the wealth — and it has nothing to do with money. They're the ones who are always in your corner, offering you enthusiastic support no matter what challenge you're facing. Instead of cutting you down, a person with good vibes builds you up. Your successes are their successes, and they want to see you shine.
8. They set boundaries for themselves & accept boundaries other people set.Navigating boundaries can be a challenging and emotional experience, yet people with good vibes not only know how to set boundaries, but they also know how to respect the boundaries other people set.
Psychologist Dr. Julie Smith discussed boundaries on her TikTok account, offering followers an important reminder about what they mean.
She said, "When you set a boundary in a relationship, the other person has a right not to like it and they probably won't. But that doesn't make you wrong for setting the boundary. If you have to betray yourself in order to be liked by someone else, that's not a healthy relationship."
Related Stories From YourTango:Part of the joy of being around people who have good vibes is that they respect you. A person with good vibes doesn't expect other people to go against their own beliefs.
9. They practice gratitude.People with good vibes put in the work to get those vibes, by consistently practicing gratitude. UCLA Health defines practicing gratitude as a regular focus on the positive parts of your life. People with good vibes know that practicing gratitude is essential to finding joy, even amidst harrowing situations. They also noted a correlation between higher levels of gratitude and lower levels of depression, in that practicing gratitude on a regular basis works against negative thought patterns, by keeping you in the present.
There are various techniques for practicing gratitude, including keeping a journal where you reflect on what you're grateful for, and actively redirecting your thoughts when they veer into a critical place. A grateful mindset helps us feel more connected to ourselves and our communities, and as a person with good vibes knows, those connections are essential to locating our joy.
Alexandra Blogier is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team. She covers mental health, pop culture analysis and all things to do with the entertainment industry.
Your Weekly Tarot Card Reading Is Good Vibes Only
Your Weekly Tarot Card Reading, by Zodiac SignMargie Rischiotto+Rider-Waite
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You don't need to know the difference between a three-card and a Celtic cross spread to get the most out of a tarot card reading. All you need: your Sun sign! Here's what I do: Shuffle my tarot deck and pull out the cards in order from Aries to Pisces, plus one general card for everyone so that you can get specific advice around your personality. Let's go!
A GENERAL CARD FOR EVERYONE: THE SUN
Margie Rischiotto+Rider-Waite
The Sun is the tarot's most positive card, bringing good vibes and opportunities! It's a lucky week for all of us. Look for ways to inject a little joy and happiness into your everyday life. Be confident and step up to reach for what you want. Be bold! To get specific, look at travel, career, entrepreneurialism, hobbies, and socializing—anything you know will bring you pleasure. Life is short. It's time to have fun.
ARIES: NINE OF PENTACLES
Margie Rischiotto+Rider-Waite
Sometimes the journey towards a goal is more fun than the actual achievement of it. The process of improving, seeing results, and feeling proud for doing what you're doing cannot be replicated. The Nine of Pentacles asks you to revel in your long-term ambitions. Enjoy doing what you're doing for the right reasons. Notice the results and celebrate your progress so far. The journey is everything.
TAURUS: SIX OF CUPS
Margie Rischiotto+Rider-Waite
Lighten up a little! Taurus, sometimes you can get so serious. It's time to have some fun. Clear your schedule of any chores and commitments that aren't urgent and spend time enjoying yourself with old friends. This will reboot your energy levels and imagination, getting you ready for another surge of power and progress. For now, just enjoy having fun with the people you like best.
GEMINI: STRENGTH
Margie Rischiotto+Rider-Waite
Strength shows you are going through something right now, and although it's hard, it's also bringing out depths of resilience, courage, patience, wisdom, and power. This week, feel yourself growing. Notice the changes. Celebrate how you're able to keep going through the hardships. We all face obstacles sometimes. It's how we get through them and what we learn from them that matters. You're doing great, Gemini. Keep going!
CANCER: QUEEN OF SWORDS
Margie Rischiotto+Rider-Waite
You don't need other people half as much as you think that you do, Cancer. You have a reputation for being needy or clingy. Actually, you're tougher and more independent than they know. Embrace that side of yourself this week with the ultimate solo player, the Queen of Swords. Do things by yourself. Revel in your own company. Be at peace. Enjoy being alone and focusing on only your own desires and needs. This is important work.
LEO: TEMPERANCE
Margie Rischiotto+Rider-Waite
Rein it in, Leo. Whatever has been taking up most of your energy and time, take a pause and gently let your focus return to the center. It's sometimes necessary to focus on extremes and outliers, but not for a long time. Temperance is a strong nudge to ground yourself and find balance. Moderation is the word this week. Rebalance your energy, focus, and time. If you've been doing too much, do less. If you've been doing too little, do more. Make a conscious effort to find moderation in life.
VIRGO: SEVEN OF CUPS
Margie Rischiotto+Rider-Waite
Even if you wish really hard, it doesn't always mean you can make something happen. Some people refuse to believe that and engage in continual magical thinking (or denial). Don't be one of them. Don't gloss over the realities of a situation to hold onto a (false) ideal of how things are or should be. See stuff as it is. The Seven of Cups asks you to bridge the gap between your ideal and your reality this week. Notice where you project, excuse, or ignore. And then act on it. Take steps to correct, withdraw, or understand. You will feel so much more secure.
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LIBRA: THE HANGED MAN
Margie Rischiotto+Rider-Waite
The way forwards is not the way you think. Open your mind and look around for the alternative options, opposing opinions, unexpected ideas, "out-there" theories, and game-changing opportunities. Something new is needed right now, and it all starts taking on another perspective. The Hanged Man is a strong nudge to think differently. It's time to switch things up. Begin by looking at your situation from a new angle. You love analysis, and it's time to analyze!
SCORPIO: NINE OF WANDS
Margie Rischiotto+Rider-Waite
Scorpio, you are a powerful person with great ambition and energy. You see your goals and you go for them, relentlessly and ruthlessly. Don't let this little setback trip you up. The Nine of Wands sees you facing a mini obstacle this week. And you're starting to dread tackling it. Don't do that! This card is a reassurance that this issue is not half as bad as you fear. The longer you spend overthinking it, the worse you're going to feel. So get to it. You can handle this.
SAGITTARIUS: KING OF WANDS
Margie Rischiotto+Rider-Waite
The King of Wands is a beautiful omen for you, Sagittarius. Wands represents FIRE, your element. So, be your fiery self this week! Embrace your passion, ambition, warmth, and spontaneity. You can change the atmosphere of a room just by walking into it. You inspire others, and you're a natural leader. These traits are powerful. Use them well this week. Anything is possible!
CAPRICORN: THE CHARIOT
Margie Rischiotto+Rider-Waite
Travel, moving house, a new car. The Chariot can indicate changes in how you get about and where you go. What are you planning? Consider a change. What might that look like? Is this a goal for 2024? Is it a huge change? This card is powerful and indicates that there is purpose behind your choices. Make a strategy towards a new destination, whether it's physical or metaphorical. You are looking at new landscapes for a good reason.
AQUARIUS: FIVE OF SWORDS
Margie Rischiotto+Rider-Waite
Don't fight, Aquarius. Turn aggression into assertiveness, stress into fuel, and conflict into understanding. Look for an easy way through the drama you're dealing with right now. Life's too short. You can't force others to agree with you. You don't control their minds! You can only stay true to your own values, express yourself, try to find a compromise, and move onwards. Seek peace.
PISCES: THE TOWER
Margie Rischiotto+Rider-Waite
Life can bring us things we aren't ready to receive. Surprises can be destabilizing. Something has shaken your world recently, but if you're honest, I think you can admit this has been coming for a long time. Looking back dispassionately, you can see the origins of this collapse,and you maybe even can admit it was all for the best. It's time to rebuild. Don't look back.
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