95 Best Christmas Quotes, Including Funny and Short Sayings 2023



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As my two sons were climbing into the back seat of our car, Eric, five, yelled, "I call the left side!" That didn't sit well with Ron, four. "No, I want the left side!" "I want the left side!" "No, I want the left side!" Intervening, I said, "Since Eric is older, he can have the left side." "Thanks, Dad!" said Eric. "Which side is left?" —Josh Weston

As my two sons were climbing into the back seat of our car, Eric, five, yelled, "I call the left side!" That didn't sit well with Ron, four. "No, I...

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70 Halloween Quotes To Get Into The Spirit Of The Spooky Season

"There's a little witch in all of us," Aunt Jet is memorably quoted as saying in the Alice Hoffman classic, "Practical Magic."

Even if you aren't sure that witches are real (spoiler: they are), there's no denying that Halloween brings out the spirit of magic in just about everyone and there's no better time to celebrate it then the spooky season.

With Halloween quickly creeping up, you might be in need of a Halloween quote or two to share, whether it's for Instagram, to use as a Halloween greeting or accompany your award-winning costume photos.

And, good news, we've got 'em all right here, including lines from iconic scary horror movies like "The Sixth Sense," where Cole Sear (Haley Joel Osment) eerily admits, "I see dead people."

In fact, we've got all the short sayings you'll ever need from not only your favorite Halloween movies, books and spooky songs, but also a bunch of witty quotes from comedians like Jim Gaffigan and Stephen Colbert.

Along with those, we've got plenty of other fang-tabulous Halloween sayings from films like "The Nightmare Before Christmas," "Hocus Pocus," and the original serial-killer movie that started them all: "Halloween."

After all, you never know when having an amusing or scary Halloween message on deck might just come in handy. Whichever you choose, one thing is for certain, these short Halloween quotes are guaranteed to leave you spellbound.

Halloween quotes from movies

  • "I am the pumpkin king." — Jack Skellington, "The Nightmare Before Christmas"

  • "Last night you were unhinged. You were like some desperate, howling demon. You frightened me. Do it again." — Morticia, "The Addams Family"

  • "This is my costume. I'm a homicidal maniac, they look just like everyone else." — Wednesday Addams, "The Addams Family"

    • Halloween Quotes

  • "You ever feel prickly things on the back of your neck?"— Cole Sear, "The Sixth Sense"

  • "There's a little witch in all of us." — Alice Hoffman, "Practical Magic"

  • "When I sleep my spirit slips away from my body and dances naked with the devil." — Thomasin, "The Witch"

  • "It's Halloween. Everyone's entitled to one good scare." — Sheriff Leigh Brackett, "Halloween"

    • Halloween Quotes

  • What's the good of being a ghost if you can't frighten people away?" — Barbara, "Beetlejuice"

  • "One thing about living in Santa Carla I never could stomach; all the damn vampires." — Grandpa, "The Lost Boys"

  • "Sisters, All Hallows' Eve has become a night of frolic, where children wear costumes and run amok!" — Winifred Sanderson, "Hocus Pocus"

  • "Yeah, some of our clothes are from victims. You might bite someone and then, you think, 'Oooh, those are some nice pants!' — Viago, "What We Do in the Shadows"

  • "It's pronounced 'Fronkensteen.'" — Dr. Frederick Frankenstein, "Young Frankenstein"

    • Halloween Quotes

  • "Wench! Trollop! You buck-toothed, mop-riding firefly from hell!" — Billy Butcherson, "Hocus Pocus"

  • "If you were the only suspect in a senseless bloodbath — would you be standing in the horror section?" — Randy Meeks, "Scream"

  • "I'll stop wearing black when they make a darker color." —Wednesday Addams, "The Addams family"

  • "Oh, look. Another glorious morning. Makes me sick!" — Winifred Sanderson, "Hocus Pocus"

  • "Some people have swimming pools, others have private cemeteries. It can happen." — Sara Evers, "The Haunted Mansion"

  • "If I'd known you were coming, I could've made up the dungeon." — Morticia Addams, "The Addams Family"

    • Halloween Quotes

    Funny Halloween quotes

  • "Isn't the view beautiful? It takes my breath away. Well, it would if I had any." — The Corpse Bride, "The Corpse Bride"

  • "Pardon me, boy, is this the Transylvania station?" — Dr. Frederick Frankenstein, "Young Frankenstein"

  • "There are three things that I've learned never to discuss with people: religion, politics and the Great Pumpkin." — Linus, "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown"

    • Halloween Quotes

  • "That's what you dream about? Being a monster?" — Edward Cullen, "Twilight"

  • "Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker." ― Ogden Nash, "Reflections on Ice Breaking"

  • "Was deciding if I should dress as Batman or Spiderman for Halloween, when I realized I'm a grown man. So, Batman." — Stephen Colbert

  • "For Halloween, I'm going as that feeling you get at a store when you try to refold a sweater property and put it back on the shelf." — Rob Delaney

  • "Tonight the Great Pumpkin will rise out of the pumpkin patch. He flies through the air and brings toys to all the children of the world." — Linus, "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown"

  • "I ain't 'fraid of no ghost." — Ray Parker Jr., "Ghostbusters"

    • Halloween Quotes

  • "On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me." — Rodney Dangerfield

  • "Halloween is just finals week for parents." — Jim Gaffigan

  • "Halloween: the night that fathers get their hearts broken when they see their daughters costume." — Whitney Cummings

    • Halloween Quotes

    Short Halloween quotes

  • "Evil has only the power that we give it." — Ray Bradbury, "Something Wicked This Way Comes"

  • "Every day is Halloween, isn't it? For some of us." — Tim Burton

  • "Flip the switch and let the cauldron bubble!" — Aunt Frances Owens, "Practical Magic"

    • Halloween Quotes

  • "They cannot be seen because they creep only in the dark." — H.P. Lovecraft, "The H.P. Lovecraft Collection"

  • "On Hallowe'en they all jump off the roof and fly!" — Ice Cream Boy, "Practical Magic"

  • "In masks and gowns we haunt the street and knock on doors for trick or treat." — Jack Prelutsky, "It's Halloween"

  • "Searchers after horror haunt strange, far places." — H.P. Lovecraft, "The Short Stories of H.P. Lovecraft"

  • "I knew nothing but shadows and I thought them to be real." -Oscar Wilde, "The Picture of Dorian Gray"

    • Halloween Quotes

  • "Double, double toil and trouble; Fire burn, and caldron bubble." — William Shakespeare, "Macbeth"

  • "There is something haunting in the light of the moon." — Joseph Conrad

  • "At night the fog was thick and full of light, and sometimes voices." — Erin Bow, "Plain Kate"

  • "Life itself is but the shadow of death, and souls departed but the shadows of the living." — Thomas Browne, "Garden of Cyrus"

    • Halloween Quotes

  • "Vampires, werewolves, fallen angels and fairies lurk in the shadows, their intentions far from honorable." — Jeaniene Frost

  • "Imagination be a witch tonight." — Robert Bagg, "Hallowe'en"

  • "Such are the autumn people. Beware of them." — Ray Bradbury, "Something Wicked This Way Comes"

  • "We are the things that others fear." — Anne Rice, "The Vampire Lestat"

    • Halloween Quotes

  • "By the pricking of my thumbs, Something wicked this way comes." — William Shakespeare, "Macbeth"

    • Halloween quotes

  • "She'd always loved Halloween. A magic night. A night when anything could happen. Monsters could be real. Magic could whisper in the air." — Cynthia Eden

  • "Anyone could see that the wind was a special wind this night, and the darkness took on a special feel because it was All Hallows' Eve." — Ray Bradbury, "The Halloween Tree"

    • Halloween Quotes

  • "It's Halloween! It's Halloween! The moon is full and bright and we shall see that can't be seen on any other night." — Jack Prelutsky, "It's Halloween"

  • "If I cannot inspire love, I will cause fear!" — Mary Shelley, "Frankenstein"

  • "Oh how the candles will be lit and the wood of worm burn in a fiery dust. For on all Hallows' Eve will the spirits come to play." — Solange nicole

  • "They thought of All Hallows' Night and the billion ghosts awandering the lonely lanes in cold winds and strange smokes." — Ray Bradbury, "The Halloween Tree"

    • Halloween Quotes

  • "A witch never gets caught. Don't forget that she has magic in her fingers and devilry dancing in her blood." — Roald Dahl, "The Witches"

  • "I know of witches who whistle at different pitches, calling things that don't have names." — Helen Oyeyemi, "White is for Witching"

    • Halloween Quotes

  • "We shall see that at which dogs howl in the dark, and that at which cats prick up their ears after midnight." — H.P. Lovecraft, "The Collected Works of H.P. Lovecraft"

  • "Tis now the very witching time of night, when churchyards yawn and hell itself breathes out contagion to this world." — William Shakespeare, "Hamlet"

  • "Shadows of a thousand years rise again unseen, voices whisper in the trees, 'Tonight is Halloween!'" — Dexter Kozen

  • "The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown." — H.P. Lovecraft, "Supernatural Horror in Literature"

  • "Suddenly the day was gone, night came out from under each tree and spread." — Ray Bradbury, "The Halloween Tree"

    • Halloween Quotes

  • "Be careful in the company of monsters that you don't become one." — Cindy Gerard, "Take No Prisoners"

  • "Fear has many eyes, and can see things underground." — Miguel de Cervantes, "The Adventures of Don Quixote"

  • "Darkness falls across the land, the midnight hour is close at hand." — Vincent Price, "Thriller"

  • "Whoever is not in his coffin and the dark grave, let him know he has enough." — Walt Whitman

    • Halloween Quotes

  • "You are about to enter another dimension. A dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind. A journey into a wondrous land of imagination. Next stop: The Twilight Zone." — Rod Serling, "The Twilight Zone"

  • "So the darkness shall be the light, and the stillness the dancing." — T.S. Eliot

  • "I be the witch of the wood." — Thomasin, "The Witch"

  • "The jack-o'-lantern follows me with tapered, glowing eyes. His yellow teeth grin evily. His cackle I despise." — Richelle Goodrich, "Slaying Dragons"

  • "Candle, spoon and carving knife: nearing the vigil of the dead, let's impose a little life upon a ripening, faceless head." — Robert B. Shaw, "Jack O' Lantern"

  • "The universe is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper." — Eden Phillpotts, "A Shadow Passes"

    • This article was originally published on TODAY.Com


    Funny Quotes

    Edit

    Famous quotes know for their humour. Quotes that can make you laugh and think at the same time.

    A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.

    ~ Fred Allen

    If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?

    ~ Abraham Lincoln

    Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.

    ~ Mark Twain

    I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.

    ~ Rodney Dangerfield

    In Paris they simply stared when I spoke to them in French; I never did succeed in making those idiots understand their language.

    ~ Mark Twain

    Why did Nature create man? Was it to show that she is big enough to make mistakes, or was it pure ignorance?

    ~ Holbrook Jackson

    I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, "Get the hell off my property."

    ~ Joan Rivers

    Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung

    ~ Voltaire

    If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.

    ~ George Globol

    I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

    ~ Henry Youngman



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