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23 Funny Poems That Will Perk Up Your Day
23 Funny Poems That Will Perk Up Your DaySkip to main content
Funny poems that bring the laughs in verseWere you conditioned by academia to think that love poems, short poems, funeral poems and other forms of poetry are stuffy, profound waxings on the natural world and the human condition? Think again. There are endless amounts of silly, whimsical and funny poems sure to give you a chuckle.
Below, you'll find a selection of amusing poetry: Some imagine fun fantasy scenarios, some are just well-constructed limericks that poke fun at nonsense and others are poems for kids that will make you think as much as they'll make you laugh.
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1. "My Shadow" by Robert Louis StevensonI have a little shadow that goes in and out with me,And what can be the use of him is more than I can see.He is very, very like me from the heels up to the head;And I see him jump before me, when I jump into my bed.
The funniest thing about him is the way he likes to grow—Not at all like proper children, which is always very slow;For he sometimes shoots up taller like an india-rubber ball,And he sometimes gets so little that there's none of him at all.
Read the whole poem here, and check out more poems by Stevenson in his book A Child's Garden of Verses. Some of these funny poems are a little long; for something shorter, check out these short poems anyone can remember.
2. "Phantasmagoria" by Lewis CarrollThis is a long one, but TL;DR: The narrator encounters a mysterious specter in his house. When asked what he's doing there, the ghost says …
"And as to being in a fright,Allow me to remarkThat Ghosts have just as good a rightIn every way, to fear the light,As Men to fear the dark."
"No plea," said I, "can well excuseSuch cowardice in you:For Ghosts can visit when they choose,Whereas we Humans ca'n't refuseTo grant the interview."
He said "A flutter of alarmIs not unnatural, is it?I really feared you meant some harm:But, now I see that you are calm,Let me explain my visit.
"Houses are classed, I beg to state,According to the numberOf Ghosts that they accommodate:(The Tenant merely counts as weight,With Coals and other lumber).
Lewis Carroll, author of the children's book Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and "Jabberwocky," is definitely a master of funny poems. Read the whole poem here to see the rest of the playful banter between the narrator and the ghost, and check out Carroll's collection Phantasmagoria and Other Poems.
3. "Monosyllabics" by Laura E. RichardsThe black cat satIn the fat man's hat;"Oh, dear!" the fat man said."May the great gray batCatch the bad black catWho has left me no hatFor my head!"
A large red cowTried to make a bow,But did not know how,They say.For her legs got mixed,And her horns got fixed,And her tail would getIn her way.
A sad, thin apeBought some wide white tapeTo trim a new capeFor his niece;But a bold buff calf,With a loud, rude laugh,Bit off one whole halfFor his geese.
Funny poems can be funny because of the way they're written, as well as their subject matter! Every word in this poem is one syllable—and it goes on much longer than this! Read the whole poem here, and read these grammar jokes every English nerd will appreciate.
4. "The Bashful Earthquake" by Oliver HerfordThe Earthquake rumbledAnd mumbledAnd grumbled;And then he bumped,And everything tumbled—Bumpyty-thump!Thumpyty-bump!—Houses and palaces all in a lump!
"Oh, what a crash!Oh, what a smash!How could I ever be so rash?"The Earthquake cried."What under the sunHave I gone and done?I never before was so mortified!"Then away he fled,And groaned as he sped:"This comes of not looking before I tread."
Everyone makes mistakes. Read more about what happens to the earthquake here, and read more funny poems by Oliver Herford in The Bashful Earthquake and Other Fables and Verses. And if you want to be inspired by the beauty of the world, read these wonderful nature poems.
5. "The Cat Metamorphosed Into a Woman" by Jean de la FontaineA bachelor caress'd his cat,A darling, fair, and delicate;So deep in love, he thought her mewThe sweetest voice he ever knew.By prayers, and tears, and magic art,The man got Fate to take his part;And, lo! One morning at his sideHis cat, transform'd, became his bride.In wedded state our man was seenThe fool in courtship he had been.No lover e'er was so bewitch'dBy any maiden's charmsAs was this husband, so enrich'dBy hers within his arms.He praised her beauties, this and that,And saw there nothing of the cat.In short, by passion's aid, heThought her a perfect lady.
'Twas night: some carpet-gnawing miceDisturb'd the nuptial joys.Excited by the noise,The bride sprang at them in a trice;The mice were scared and fled.The bride, scarce in her bed,The gnawing heard, and sprang again, –And this time not in vain,For, in this novel form array'd,Of her the mice were less afraid.Through life she loved this mousing course,So great is stubborn nature's force.
Talk about a cat lady. This is a weird one—and it goes on! Read the poem's much more profound final stanza here, and read more from this author with The Complete Fables of Jean de la Fontaine. Plus, here are some cat quotes all fans of felines will appreciate.
6. "The Purple Cow" by Gelett BurgessI never saw a Purple Cow,I never hope to see one;But I can tell you, anyhow,I'd rather see than be one.
Short and sweet. If you're looking for something more sentimental for, say, your mom, browse through these sweet Mother's Day poems.
7. "Strong Beer" by Robert Graves"What do you thinkThe bravest drinkUnder the sky?""Strong beer," said I.
"There's a place for everything,Everything, anything,There's a place for everythingWhere it ought to be:For a chicken, the hen's wing;For poison, the bee's sting;For almond-blossom, Spring;A beerhouse for me."
"There's a prize for everyone,Everyone, anyone,There's a prize for everyone,Whoever he may be:Crags for the mountaineer,Flags for the Fusilier,For English poets, beer!Strong beer for me!"
You knew one of these funny poems had to be about drinking. Read the entire poem here.
8. "The Attraction of Levitation" by H.G. Paine"Oh dear!" said little Johnny Frost,"Sleds are such different things!When down the hill you swiftly coastYou'd think that they had wings;
"But when uphill you slowly climb,And have to drag your sled,It feels so heavy that you'd think'Twas really made of lead.
"And all because an Englishman,Sir Isaac Newton named,Invented gravitation, andBecame unduly famed;
"While if he had reversed his law,So folks uphill could coast,It seems to me he would have hadA better claim to boast.
"Then coasting would all pleasure be;To slide up would be slick!And dragging sleds downhill would beAn awful easy trick!"
Thanks a lot, Isaac Newton! If you got a kick out of this funny poem, you'll love these funny jokes about science.
9. "The Camel's Complaint" by Charles E. CarrylCanary-birds feed on sugar and seed,Parrots have crackers to crunch;And, as for the poodles, they tell me the noodlesHave chickens and cream for their lunch.But there's never a questionAbout MY digestion—Anything does for me!
Cats, you're aware, can repose in a chair,Chickens can roost upon rails;Puppies are able to sleep in a stable,And oysters can slumber in pails.But no one supposesA poor Camel dozes—Any place does for me!
People would laugh if you rode a giraffe,Or mounted the back of an ox;It's nobody's habit to ride on a rabbit,Or try to bestraddle a fox.But as for a Camel, he'sRidden by families—Any load does for me!
Learn more quirks of the camel with the rest of the poem here. And if you love funny poems, you'll get a kick out of the funniest books of all time.
10. "Mr. Nobody" (author unknown)I know a funny little man,As quiet as a mouse,Who does the mischief that is doneIn everybody's house!There's no one ever sees his face,And yet we all agreeThat every plate we break was crackedBy Mr. Nobody.
The finger marks upon the doorBy none of us are made;We never leave the blinds unclosed,To let the curtains fade.The ink we never spill; the bootsThat lying round you seeAre not our boots,—they all belongTo Mr. Nobody.
Read more about Mr. Nobody's antics in the complete poem here.
11. "Eletelephony" by Laura E. RichardsOnce there was an elephant,Who tried to use the telephant—No! No! I mean an elephoneWho tried to use the telephone—(Dear me! I am not certain quiteThat even now I've got it right.)Howe'er it was, he got his trunkEntangled in the telephunk;The more he tried to get it free,The louder buzzed the telephee—(I fear I'd better drop the songOf elephop and telephong!)
Need more elephant-based humor? These elephant jokes will have you laughing your trunk off.
12. "The Table and the Chair" by Edward LearI
Said the Table to the Chair,
'You can hardly be aware,
'How I suffer from the heat,
'And from chilblains on my feet!
'If we took a little walk,
'We might have a little talk!
'Pray let us take the air!'
Said the Table to the Chair.
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Said the Chair unto the Table,
'Now you know we are not able!
'How foolishly you talk,
'When you know we cannot walk!'
Said the Table, with a sigh,
'It can do no harm to try,
'I've as many legs as you,
'Why can't we walk on two?'
13. "Do You Carrot All for Me?" (author unknown)Do you carrot all for me?My heart beets for you,With your turnip noseAnd your radish face,You are a peach.If we cantaloupe,Lettuce marry:Weed make a swell pear.
Who doesn't love a good food pun? Here are some punny food pickup lines that will give you a chuckle.
14. "The Theoretic Turtle" by Amos Russel WellsThe theoretic turtle started out to see the toad;He came to a stop at a liberty-pole in the middle of the road."Now how, in the name of the spouting whale," the indignant turtle cried,"Can I climb this perpendicular cliff, and get on the other side?If I only could make a big balloon, I'd lightly over it fly;Or a very long ladder might reach the top, though it does look fearfully high.If a beaver were in my place, he'd gnaw a passage through with his teeth;I can't do that, but I can dig a tunnel and pass beneath."He was digging his tunnel, with might and main, when a dog looked down at the hole."The easiest way, my friend," said he, "is to walk around the pole."
If you liked these funny poems, you're sure to laugh at these funny song titles you won't believe are real.
15. "Why We Oppose Pockets for Women" by Alice Duer Miller1. Because pockets are not a natural right.2. Because the great majority of women do not want pockets. If they did they would have them.3. Because whenever women have had pockets they have not used them.4. Because women are required to carry enough things as it is, without the additional burden of pockets.5. Because it would make dissension between husband and wife as to whose pockets were to be filled.6. Because it would destroy man's chivalry toward woman, if he did not have to carry all her things in his pockets.7. Because men are men, and women are women. We must not fly in the face of nature.8. Because pockets have been used by men to carry tobacco, pipes, whiskey flasks, chewing gum and compromising letters. We see no reason to suppose that women would use them more wisely.
Miller's satirical funny poem was written back in 1914 and is featured in Are Women People? A Book of Rhymes for Suffrage Times, a collection Miller's poems about suffrage.
16. "Perils of Thinking" (author unknown)A centipede was happy quite,Until a frog in funSaid, "Pray, which leg comes after which?"This raised her mind to such a pitch,She lay distracted in the ditchConsidering how to run.
Now that's a thinker! If you loved this funny poem, you may enjoy these clever jokes too!
17. "Have You Ever Seen" (author unknown)Have you ever seen a sheet on a river bed?Or a single hair from a hammer's head?Has the foot of a mountain any toes?And is there a pair of garden hose?
Does the needle ever wink its eye?Why doesn't the wing of a building fly?Can you tickle the ribs of a parasol?Or open the trunk of a tree at all?
Are the teeth of a rake ever going to bite?Have the hands of a clock any left or right?Can the garden plot be deep and dark?And what is the sound of the birch's bark?
Now this is quite the play on words! English is a confusing language, so it only makes sense that poets would want to play around with it in funny poems. Looking to add more poetry to your bookshelf? Browse through these great poetry books.
18. "The Horrid Voice of Science" by Vachel Lindsay"There's machinery in the butterfly;There's a mainspring to the bee;There's hydraulics to a daisy,And contraptions to a tree."
"If we could see the birdieThat makes the chirping soundWith X-ray, scientific eyes,We could see the wheels goround."
And I hope all menWho think like thisWill soon lieUnderground.
This funny poem is a good reminder to simply enjoy nature as it is.
19. "Funny Young Fellow" by AnonymousA funny young fellow named PerkinsWas terribly fond of small gherkins.One day after teaHe ate ninety-threeAnd pickled his internal workings.
We hope those gherkins were worth it! Here are more dill-icious pickle puns and jokes to enjoy.
20. "One Perfect Rose" by Dorothy ParkerA single flow'r he sent me, since we met.All tenderly his messenger he chose;Deep-hearted, pure, with scented dew still wet—One perfect rose.
I knew the language of the floweret;"My fragile leaves," it said, "his heart enclose."Love long has taken for his amuletOne perfect rose.
Why is it no one ever sent me yetOne perfect limousine, do you suppose?Ah no, it's always just my luck to getOne perfect rose.
Well, a limousine would be nice … but don't underestimate the power of giving someone a rose!
21. "The Stargazer" (author unknown)A stargazer out late at night,With eyes and thoughts turned both upright,Tumbled by chance into a well(A dismal story this to tell);He roared and sobbed and roared again,And cursed "The Bear" and "Charles's Wain."
His woeful cries a neighbor brought,Less learned, but wiser far in thought:"My friend," quoth he, "you're much misled,With stars to trouble thus your head;Since you with these misfortunes meet,For want of looking to your feet."
Sometimes, we all need to look a little more closely at what's right in front of us. And, sometimes, we need to have some fun with these out-of-this-world space puns.
22. "A Snow Man" by AnonymousOh, the beautiful snow!We're all in a glow—Nell, Dolly, and Willie, and Dan;For the primest of fun,When all's said and done,Is just making a big snow man.Two stones for his eyesLook quite owlishly wise,A hard pinch of snow for his nose;Then a mouth that's as bigAs the snout of a pig,And he'll want an old pipe, I suppose.Then the snow man is done,And to-morrow what funTo make piles of snow cannon all day,And to pelt him with ballsTill he totters and falls,And a thaw comes and melts him away.
This charming poem comes from A Christmas Hamper: A Volume of Pictures and Stories for Little Folks. For more snowy reads, check out these cozy winter quotes that will make you appreciate the season.
23. "The Elephant" by AnonymousAn elephant slept in his bunk,And in slumber his chest rose and sunk.But he snored—how he snored!All the other beasts roared,So his wife tied a knot in his trunk.
Love them or hate them, limericks are some of the most common forms of funny poems. If you liked this one, here are more limerick examples.
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20 Of The Funniest Obituaries That Will Have You Dying Laughing
20 of the Funniest Obituaries That Really Exist—and Will Crack You UpSkip to main content
Tickled to deathGosh, some people really do just stop in their tracks to be quietly amazed and entertained by the ones they love, then mentally file those images away to later craft into funny obituaries and eulogies capable of bringing down the house. Some of these obits are so pithy they should be written in stone—and some were—to become the funniest tombstones (that actually exist!).
And if that's not quite enough to satisfy you, then you won't want to miss these dark humor memes or unforgettably funny last words.
"A certain alignment in the stars"When longtime Rolling Stone editor Harriet Fier died in 2018, the Washington Post ran a warm and amusing obituary that chronicled Fier's colorful and interesting life, including an anecdote about why she stayed an extra day after the Woodstock concert in 1969: "I spent the whole next morning picking up garbage because I felt bad about leaving a big mess."
But for fans of lawyer jokes, the best part may be why she ended up joining Rolling Stone in the first place. "As Ms. Fier told friends, she had no firm direction after college and might well have attended law school if she had not joined Rolling Stone." And for those who enjoy poking fun at journalists, her obit also explains that when Fier was hired in the early 1970s, the standards were a little different. They amounted to little more than "a certain alignment in the stars. Interview paperwork asked for an applicant's sun, moon and rising signs."
"Mary Anne chose to pass into the eternal love of God"Born and raised in Virginia—often a swing state, we might add—Mary Anne Alfriend Noland, a wife, mother, grandmother and 1970 graduate of the University of Virginia School of Nursing, up and died just six months before the 2016 presidential election, timing her obituary references as an extreme aversion to the choice of candidates.
And just in case this sounds maybe a little too much like poetic justice to be an actual obit, please know that Mrs. Noland's obituary has passed the Snopes test and been deemed legit. Just one more thing: Is it too soon to trot out the side-splitting nurse jokes?
"If someone wants to contact me, that would be nice"Clearly, Mrs. Mary "Pink" Mullaney was a giver of reliably pithy life advice, because when the widow died in 2013, one (or more) of her many loved ones crafted an obituary for the Milwaukee Journal Sentinal that featured what we can only guess to be a mere handful of Pink's chestnuts.
In addition to the above-quoted message-in-a-bottle-style advice, Mullaney had a suggestion for dealing with uninvited critters trespassing in your out-buildings: "If a possum takes up residence in your shed, grab a barbecue brush to coax him out. If he doesn't leave, brush him for 20 minutes and let him stay."
As for why you might be craving a chicken sandwich after church, it might be because Pink advised her loved ones to bring one to Sunday service and give it to a "homeless friend" after mass.
"Tell them that check is in the mail""Waffle House lost a loyal customer on April 30, 2013" begins the New York Times obituary of Antonia "Toni" Larroux of Bay St. Louis, Mississippi. And it only gets more amusing from there. Larroux's children from her marriage to Jean F. Larroux Jr., Jean Larroux III and Hayden Hoffman, decided to honor their mother with an obituary that reads like a standup comedian's tight-five.
"The family started to write a normal obit," Larroux III told HuffPost, before realizing that their mom wouldn't want it that way. Some of the obituary's greatest hits include a suggestion that Larroux III and Hoffman might be illegitimate (we assume from the context that folks had been speculating for years) and a spoiler alert to the effect that Toni and her sisters were not, in fact, natural blondes. And then, of course, there are those aforementioned famous last words.
"Your father is a very sick man"When Connecticut native Joe Heller, a chemist and former Yale Law School librarian, died in 2019 at the age of 82, he left behind a legacy of humor—literally, in the form of three witty daughters. They begin their dad's Hartford Courant obituary as follows: "Joe Heller made his last undignified and largely irreverent gesture on September 8, 2019, signing off on a life, in his words, 'generally well-lived and with few regrets.'" They go on to say, "When the doctors confronted his daughters with the news last week that 'Your father is a very sick man,' in unison they replied, 'You have no idea.'"
He was a lifelong prankster, according to the obit, and when Heller was born "God thankfully broke the mold." Just to be clear, if the jokes are about your dad, they still count as dad jokes. And if you thought these quips were good, check out these funny road signs worth slowing down for.
"Jesus had a backache only the world's greatest chiropractor could fix"So begins the obituary of Seguin, Texas, chiropractor Dr. Mark Flanagan, 62, which was apparently written by the "most handsome" of his sons on behalf of the rest of his children, grandchildren, siblings, friends and patients. If Flanagan weren't dead, it might be the greatest Yelp review ever written.
Not only was Dr. Flanagan described as the "world's greatest chiropractor," he also had "more dolphin paraphernalia than a gift shop at one of those places with actual dolphins."
"First Church of God, which she attended for 60 years in spite of praise music"When 79-year-old Betty Jo Passmore died in 2014, the longtime Tampa Bay, Florida, resident and lover of mystery novels and dark chocolate left behind a large and wonderfully witty family, including her husband, to whom she was married for 61 years despite not always agreeing on fiction genres or ice cream flavors (Mr. Passmore always voted for westerns and butter pecan). But let's not forget the daughter who gave her two grandchildren and five great-grandchildren, and the other one, Betty Jo's, um, "spinster" daughter (who, odds are, wrote this Tampa Bay Times obit with a loving gleam in her eye).
Nor will we be able to forget that one final dig at Tampa's First Church of God. Apparently, Mrs. Passmore went gently into that good night after an impressive record of regular church attendance under her belt, notwithstanding her apparent disdain for all the "praise music and A/V presentations." Speaking of which, don't miss these sinfully funny church signs.
"Who the h*** taught her to fly?"We don't know if Lois Ann Harry was a gun owner, but the 88-year-old Idaho Falls, Idaho, resident sure sounds like something of a pistol. "Lois Ann Harry …. Was reported missing and presumed deceased … when the Cessna Skyhawk she stole and was piloting lost contact with air traffic control over the Gulf of Mexico," her 2019 obituary begins. "Eyewitnesses report Lois was last seen leaving the Homestead in the backseat of an Uber wearing dark glasses and an ushanka." And yes, the question above remains unanswered.
So, she was a pilot? Or was it a professional gambler, race car driver or botanist who specialized in recreational marijuana for sale in Washington state? Or something else entirely? This hilariously eclectic paean to one undeniably fun-loving great-great-grandmother tells of a woman who clearly laughed with her loved ones and, occasionally, at herself.
"Thank you, Mom, Grammy, Oma, Grape, Meemaw Beep for your sense of humor," it concludes, cleverly straddling the line between funny obituaries and those uplifting quotes that get you "right here."
"She loved [her family] more than anything else in the world, except …"Jan Lois Lynch of Boston was a single mother who loved her family, including her four sons and eight grandkids—albeit maybe not quite as much as some of life's other pleasures. When she died in 2018 at age 75, her loved ones authored this good-hearted Courier Press obituary, specifying exactly what those other pleasures were, and we quote: "the New England Patriots, the Boston Red Sox, Tom Brady, cold Budweiser, room temperature Budweiser, cigarettes, dogs, mopeds, clam chowder, boating, fishing, Florida, the Atlantic Ocean, grouper sandwiches, adventures, road trips, the beach, Sunday Night Football, Monday Night Football, fall foliage, airplane food, ingrown toenails, the O.J. Chase and the O.J. Trial—in that exact order."
As for this book-loving, beer-swilling adrenaline junkie's cause of death, it's unclear exactly, but no one should count out terminal stubbornness and a virulent case of armchair quarterbacking. Jan was a woman after our own fun-loving hearts, so you just know she wouldn't have backed down from visiting one of the remaining ghost towns around the world.
"Doug died"Yep, that's all she wrote, as they say. Douglas Legler of Fargo, North Dakota, passed away in June 2015, but not before penning his own two-word obituary, according to InForum, a hyper-local news outlet for the Fargo, Moorehead and West metropolitan area.
"Doug died," this viral obit reads. In keeping with the TL;DR spirit, let's just say it gives new meaning to the old adage "brevity is the soul of wit."
"It pains me to admit it, but apparently I have passed away"And so begins the earthly signoff of one Emily DeBrayda Phillips, 69, apparently writing from a laptop somewhere in the great beyond on the occasion of her 2015 self-authored obituary, published in the Florida Times-Union. "Everyone told me it would happen one day, but that's simply not something I wanted to hear, much less experience." Well, it couldn't have happened to a more hilariously self-aware human than this mother, who was decidedly not sorry for making her daughter wear "no frills" jeans as a kid, nor for red-shirting her son … back in kindergarten (no, seriously, Red Rover is surprisingly competitive!).
"If you want to, you can look for me in the evening sunset or with the earliest spring daffodils or among the flitting and fluttering butterflies. You know I'll be there in one form or another. Of course, that will probably comfort some while antagonizing others, but you know me … it's what I do." Any questions? Sorry, "too late," concludes this first-person obit in punny fashion.
"She wants her gold teeth back from the dentist that yanked them"Karen "Lue" Short's 2014 obituary in The Brookline begins on the staid side but quickly veers into that elusive sweet spot known as funny obituaries. After establishing that "Lue spent her life as a nonconformist, filled with humor and adventure," it goes on to say that she "died at home with her parrot by her side" while listening to Ricky Martin croon "Livin' La Vida Loca."
It then doubles down on the mirth with the above-quoted missive. But that's exactly the sort of witticism you'd expect in the obituary of someone who requested "Another One Bites the Dust" be played at her funeral.
Even more charmingly, this ode to Lue affectionally reminds the world of the sixty-something Indiana native's nickname, "Hot Dog Lady," given to her by the college students who frequented her hot dog stand. Humor aside, it's clear it was said with love and respect and in the shared spirit of gentle ribbing.
"Bill Brown finally stopped bugging everybody"Rabble rouser Bill Brown's Kansas City Star obituary, which begins with the aforementioned missive, details his lifelong commitment to mischief, all the way up until he roused his last rabble in October 2013, at the age of 91. And apparently, that sweet release came not a moment too soon for Brown's loved ones, who were forced (out of love, of course) to endure his endless unsolicited fist bumps and informal races against "other oldsters" to claim an empty chair. Indeed, karma being the glitch that it is, that's how Brown broke his hip, which led "eventually to his well-earned demise."
Given that opening, it perhaps won't surprise anyone to learn that this grandfather of many met his wife, whom he married in 1942, while "trying to scare neighbor kids by acting like a barking dog when he threw open the front door, only to find himself barking at the Avon lady." Now, find out about these people who faked their own death.
"The hopeless condition of the Cleveland Browns"Here we have not one, but two entirely separate and unrelated funny obituaries that can't resist one last dig at the football team that never ceased to amaze the deceased with their "hopeless" performances on the field. The first, which appeared in The Columbus Dispatch, is that of Columbus, Ohio's Scott Entsminger, who died in 2013 after a long career at General Motors and a lifetime of feeling let down by the Cleveland Browns' excuse for gamesmanship.
The second, published in the Sandusky Register, belongs to Paul Stark, also of Columbus, who died in 2017, pretty much because he'd run out of hope for the Browns (but also of natural causes). Both men were hard-working husbands and fathers, and Stark was also a grandfather. But only Entsminger's bereaved invited mourners to don Browns-logo attire in memory of their dearly departed, ever-beleaguered armchair quarterback.
"We all know how he liked to tell stories"William "Freddie" McCullough, 61, father of six, didn't live as long as some, but he left an indelible mark, as his obituary makes clear in the funniest way possible. "The man. The myth. The legend. Men wanted to be him and women wanted to be with him," it begins before going on to imply that Little Debbie, Jim Beam and Reese's brands will all be a little poorer due to the loss of this ever-loving fan of snack cakes, bourbon and peanut butter cups.
Freddie, who "hated vegetables and hypocrites," albeit not necessarily in that order, was a floor-covering professional by trade, according to his 2013 obit, and he was gosh dang good at it, also according to his obit. And we believe it. In fact, we believe everything in this funny obituary because whoever wrote it (and our money is on Freddie himself) points out that their dearly departed was something of a storyteller—and "you could be sure 50% of every story was true." Sounds to us like Freddie would know lots of funny things you can ask Siri.
"This is not a ploy to avoid creditors or old girlfriends"When William Ziegler of New Orleans died in 2016, he might have owed you a small sum of cash, a beer or perhaps even an apology. If so, you'll want to hit him up for it when you, too, get to Heaven, as the 69-year-old U.S. Navy veteran and retired firefighter's Times-Picayune obituary suggests. But will he be good for it? That remains unclear. Apparently, this knee-slapper of an obituary was the work of Ziegler's four children (and possibly some of his five grandchildren too). But we get the feeling Ziegler himself wasn't the sort of fellow to get too bogged down in such socially correct niceties.
Reflecting on his colleagues in the fire department, this ode to a life well-laughed and well-loved reads, "William stated that there was no better group of morons and mental patients than those he had the privilege of serving with (except Bob, he never liked you, Bob)." If you do go looking for him (when the time comes), you'll likely find him "forwarding tasteless internet jokes" with an "alcoholic dog named Judge passed out at his feet."
"I'm gone! The devil finally called my name"Angus MacDonald "bit the dust," as the good-humored 69-year-old family man put it in his self-authored 2016 obituary. "I'm gone! The devil finally called my name," he jokes before owning up to being a "pretty nice guy (despite what some people would say)." But demur as he does, it's clear from McDonald's tone how much he loved and felt loved by his wife, three children, six grandchildren, 12 siblings and two beloved pets.
To prove it, he uses his irreverent obit to announce that there will be no funeral. "A funeral is a waste of harrrrrrd earned and harrrrrrd saved money that my family can use now," McDonald explained. Moreover, being a private person, "I don't want to end that life with people gawking at me while I lay in a coffin." So "instead of going to see the great creator, I will be going to see the great cremator," he concludes before providing the coordinates for his visitation and memorial service. But seriously, folks, are you aware of these rules of funeral etiquette?
"He claimed the men were men, and so were half the women""Elwood 'Buddy' Segeske III, age 60, former soccer player, tool and die maker, and David Bowie look-alike, ate his last Philadelphia soft pretzel on February 25th, 2016," his clever and memorable obituary begins. The survivor of a 1992 alien abduction, as the obit puts it (we're thinking tongue-in-cheek), he left behind numerous loved ones and, seemingly inexplicably, a "battery-operated cymbal-smashing monkey."
Apparently, Buddy's tastes ran toward the eclectic, from smoking and drinking to parading around in yoga pants to "stalking Jennifer Lawrence and looking at boobs." It's possible the boobs reference is to Buddy's hardscrabble childhood friends, most of whom ended up serving time or working as carnies.
"He spoke from his diagram"We've now come to realize that the funniest obituaries are seldom written by or for deceased career comedians, but rather upon the passing of folks who like to make people laugh just for the fun of it. One notable exception, however, is that of the famous comedian Norm Crosby, who died in 2020, at age 93.
"You might call him the Boston mangler," begins Crosby's obit, which appeared in the New York Times. Indeed, Crosby was the veritable "Master of the Malapropism, relating," as he did throughout his career, "many funny antidotes, often to a standing ovulation." Indeed, when he did so, he "spoke from his diagram."
This well-crafted work of reverential wordplay (written by Times reporter Daniel E. Slotnick) reads like an intro to the art of the malaprop. But unlike some of these famous examples of malapropisms, all the miss-cakes here are clearly intentional.
"Loved everything about NYC, except the New York Times"Speaking of the New York Times, not everyone is a fan. Have you heard? If not, you might want to consider the paid death notice of one Amos Schuchman of New York, New York, who died on February 1, 2013. The loving husband, father and grandfather, who was born in Tel Aviv, Israel, in 1928, apparently "loved everything about NYC, except the New York Times."
And that's pretty much all that can be gleaned from this Schuchman obit. It's a sizzling diss, and it's genuinely funny—even if you do happen to be a fan of New York's Gray Lady.
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What Makes Funny Cartoons Funny? Funny You Should Ask.
Arts
"Funny Stuff" authors Phil Witte and Rex Hesner. Courtesy Photo / Rob Yelland They take about two seconds to read. (OK, maybe three if there's a long caption.) And yet done right, a particular panel cartoon — the kind you see in the New Yorker — can resonate so deeply that it winds up adorning kitchen refrigerators, office bulletin boards, and social media feeds for years on end.
So how do panel cartoonists do it, with artwork that can sometimes amount to no more than a few scrawled lines, and text that might comprise just a few words? It's a question that, apparently, haunted Phil Witte and Rex Hesner — so much so that they wrote a book about it, "Funny Stuff: How Great Cartoonists Make Great Cartoons."
Not that it was completely their idea — Bob Mankoff, the former cartoon editor of the New Yorker, actually suggested it after taking notice of Witte and Hesner's blog, "Cartoon Companion."
"Funny Stuff" attempts to explain what makes a great panel cartoon. – Courtesy Photo / Prometheus Books "The world doesn't necessarily beat a path to a website when you stick one up," noted Hesner, a one-time Jamaica Plain resident and self-proclaimed "cartoon critic." "But in our collaboration of writing and reviewing these cartoons … we got the attention of not only cartoonists from the New Yorker, but from Bob Mankoff himself. He showed up in our inbox one day, so that was the beginning of it."
Mankoff, who after the New Yorker had moved on to run the cartoon clearinghouse CartoonStock, offered Witte and Hesner the opportunity to bring their analyses of the cartooning arts to his site, in the form of a new blog, "Anatomy of a Cartoon."
"He lured us from this unpaying private thing that we were doing to a paid gig with a much, much bigger audience, and after considering the offer for two seconds, we said, 'Of course,'" laughed Witte, a well-established cartoonist in his own right.
From there, it wasn't long before the suggestion for "Funny Stuff" came about.
"We were on a call with Bob, and if you wanna have a great time, get on a phone call with Bob Mankoff," Hesner recalled. "But anyway, during that call, he said to us, 'Why don't you guys write a book?' And that kind of knocked us sideways. And next thing you know, we're sitting down and sketching out some ideas."
A famous cartoon by Bob Mankoff featured in "Funny Stuff." – Courtesy Image "We kind of got back to the basics, which is why we like cartoons, and why do certain ones appeal to us more than others?" Witte explained. "And the more we thought about it, we got really deeply into it, and realized all these different components that were in the cartoons.
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"Plus, we knew many of the New Yorker cartoonists," Witte said, "and when we talked about it to them, they were excited about this kind of book, because it reveals what they are doing, which is something that is kind of a mystery to most people."
Maybe not the drawing so much, although obviously that's a huge part of a successful cartoon. But often it's the mysterious art of coming up with just the right caption that separates the cartooning wheat from the cartooning chaff.
"We have an entire chapter on captions, basically some guidelines," noted Hesner. "For example, the first one is, keep it short. And then, second, put the funny at the end." (Write that down!)
"It's really based on my own experience," Witte elaborated. "You've got to get the words exactly in the right position, and how many? And with the most impact. Because you only have one shot at it … You really think more about the caption than even how the drawing is going to look."
But then, what about cartoons with no caption at all? (Like this classic John O'Brien panel, which is featured in "Funny Stuff.")
"It's a real trick to be able to do that, because obviously it all has to be done visually, and you have to get the point across without any explanation," Witte explains. "So it requires a little bit more of the reader as well — it's like a high art form within cartooning itself."
A caption-less cartoon by one of the authors of "Funny Stuff," Phil Witte. – Courtesy Image While their book does discuss captions, types of humor, idea generation, and — watch out! — "The Psyche of the Cartoonist," "Funny Stuff" isn't a how-to book, although it could certainly serve as that. It's more a deep dive into the inner workings of a beloved art form, one for which essentially no topic is beyond its scope.
For a local example, look no further than New Yorker cartoonist Christopher Weyant's response to the Boston Marathon bombings, which shows a Yankee-fan father telling his son, "Today we're all rooting for Boston."
"It refers to a very tragic thing," Witte explains. "But the picture — you know, father and son going to a baseball game — by treating it a little bit obliquely, or from a very different angle, it still makes the point. That's an excellent cartoon."
That cartoon isn't in the book, but dozens of other panels by the world's greatest cartoonists are, including examples from the likes of Roz Chast, Sam Gross, P.C. Vey, Harry Bliss, Charles Addams, and many others (not to mention a few Phil Witte specials).
And beyond the insights into the specifics of this very particular craft, the book is also simply a celebration of the creative process.
"Anyone who's involved in the arts, I think, is interested in that creative side of things, and how that manifests itself, and the frustrations," Witte said. "I mean, you can enjoy it for sure, and you do it because you really need to do it. But it takes effort.
"And you know, where's that come from? Where's the persistence that you have to be able to do it?" he asks. "It's necessary just to satisfy your soul."
"Funny Stuff: How Great Cartoonists Make Great Cartoons," by Phil Witte and Rex Hesner with a foreward by Bob Mankoff, comes out July 16 from Prometheus Books. Listen to the full interview with Witte and Hesner on "Strip Search: The Comic Strip Podcast," below:
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