Ring in 2024 with These Happy New Year Quotes

Funny Faces: See The Best Candid Expressions In Photos From The 2024 Olympics

The Paris 2024 Olympics are not just about medals and records: From intense concentration to unexpected reactions, the athletes of the Paris 2024 Olympics have given us a treasure trove of funny faces.

Explore our gallery of athletes in their most candid and comedic moments and then catch up with more moments from the 2024 Olympics in our other photo galleries here.

France's Felix Lebrun eyes the ball as he prepares to serve to India's Harmeet Desai during their men's table tennis singles round of 64 at the Paris 2024 Olympic Games at the South Paris Arena in Paris on July 28, 2024. (Photo by WANG Zhao / AFP) US' Coco Gauff returns to Australia's Ajla Tomljanovic during their women's singles first round tennis match on Court Philippe-Chatrier at the Roland-Garros Stadium at the Paris 2024 Olympic Games, in Paris on July 28, 2024. (Photo by Miguel MEDINA / AFP) Malaysia's Toh Ee Wei plays a shot in the mixed doubles badminton group stage match against China during the Paris 2024 Olympic Games at Porte de la Chapelle Arena in Paris on July 29, 2024. (Photo by David GRAY / AFP) Germany's Christoph Steinert attempts to score past Japan's Sota Takano and Japan's pivot Shuichi Yoshida during the Men's Preliminary Round Group A handball match between Japan and Germany of the Paris 2024 Olympic Games, at the Paris South Arena in Paris, on July 29, 2024. (Photo by Damien MEYER / AFP) Silver medallists Britain's Noah Williams and Thomas Daley celebrate with their medals following the men's synchronized 10m platform diving at the Paris 2024 Olympic Games at the Aquatics Centre in Saint-Denis, north of Paris, on July 29, 2024. (Photo by SEBASTIEN BOZON / AFP) Japan's Miu Hirano eyes the ball as she prepares to serve to Italy's Giorgia Piccolin during their women's table tennis singles round of 64 at the Paris 2024 Olympic Games at the South Paris Arena in Paris on July 29, 2024. (Photo by JUNG Yeon-je / AFP) Spain's Rafael Nadal eyes the ball as he returns to Serbia's Novak Djokovic during their men's singles second round tennis match on Court Philippe-Chatrier at the Roland-Garros Stadium at the Paris 2024 Olympic Games, in Paris on July 29, 2024. (Photo by Martin BERNETTI / AFP) The US' Ilona Maher (2) during the women's pool C rugby sevens match between France and United States during the Paris 2024 Olympic Games at the Stade de France in Saint-Denis, France on July 29, 2024. (Photo by Mustafa Ciftci/Anadolu via Getty Images) Switzerland's Florian Langenegger competes in the floor event of the artistic gymnastics men's team final during the Paris 2024 Olympic Games at the Bercy Arena in Paris, on July 29, 2024. (Photo by Gabriel BOUYS / AFP) US's Asher Hong performs on the Parallel Bars during the Men's Team Final at Bercy Arena, on the third day of the 2024 Paris Olympic Games in France. Picture date: Monday July 29, 2024. (Photo by Mike Egerton/PA Images via Getty Images) US' Paul Juda competes in the floor event of the artistic gymnastics men's team final during the Paris 2024 Olympic Games at the Bercy Arena in Paris, on July 29, 2024. (Photo by Gabriel BOUYS / AFP) Argentina's Sebastian Baez plays a forehand against Benjamin Hassan of Team Lebanon during the Men's Singles second round match on day three of the Olympic Games Paris 2024 at Roland Garros on July 29, 2024 in Paris, France. (Photo by Matthew Stockman/Getty Images) Ukraine's Igor Radivilov competes on the vault during the Artistic Gymnastics Men's Team Final on day three of the Olympic Games Paris 2024 at Bercy Arena on July 29, 2024 in Paris, France. (Photo by Hannah Peters/Getty Images)

125 Seriously Funny Jokes That'll Get All The Laughs

Clear the aisles, because you're about to be rolling in them.

That's right, you've just landed on the best collection of funny jokes around and all of them are guaranteed to inspire a case of the giggles.

Whether you're on the hunt for dumb dad jokes, corny one-liners or groan-worthy knock-knocks, we've amassed a collection of gags to tell your friends or anyone else who loves a bad-but-good pun.

For instance, why did the invisible man quit his job? He just couldn't see himself doing it.

Or, did you ever wonder why lions don't eat clowns? Naturally, it's because they taste funny.

Yep, we see you. You're cringing. But it's only a matter of time before you pass these comedic gems on to the next unsuspecting person. And trust us, there are plenty here to choose from.

Whether you're looking to entertain the crew or hoping to snicker all by yourself, you'll find all the laughs you're looking for in the list below.

Whatever you decide, expect at least one airport joke, because for some reason, we just can't stop telling them. Must be a terminal problem. (Ba-dum-tss.)

Best Funny Jokes

Why do sweaters stick together? Because they're close-knit.

Did you hear about the octopus that held up a convenience store? It was an armed-robbery.

Two fish are in a tank. One turns to the other and says, "Any idea how to drive this thing?"

Why do ducks have tails? To hide their butt-quacks.

Did you about the stolen dog collar? Police are looking for leads.

I'm wasn't a fan of facial hair, but eventually it grew on me.

Have you ever played quiet tennis? It's the same as regular tennis, but without the racket.

What did the mummy say after getting detention? "This sphinx!"

I used to be addicted to the Hokey Pokey, but then I turned myself around.

Two guys walked into a bar. The third one ducked.

Did you hear about the guy giving away dead batteries? They were free of charge.

What do lawyers wear under their pants? Briefs.

Did you hear about the equestrian that got laryngitis? Now she's a hoarse whisperer.

Why did the invisible man quit his job? He couldn't see himself doing it.

There are three kinds of people in the world. Those who can do math and those who can't.

Silly Dad Jokes

Why did the author get married? She found Mr. Write.

Why don't skeletons skydive? They don't have the guts to do it.

Where do cucumbers go on date night? The salad bar.

Did you hear about the pine tree that got a timeout? It was being knotty.

What do you say to a cow that gets in your way? "Moooo-ve!"

I met a giant once. I didn't know what to say, so I just used big words.

Did you hear about the dolphin romance? They really clicked.

A horse walks into a diner. The host says, "Hey!" The horse says, "You read my mind!"

How did people see in the dark during medieval times? They used knight lights.

Why aren't there a lot of jokes about peaches? Because most of them are pit-iful.

What's the best way to catch a squirrel? Act like a nut.

Did you hear about math book that got a therapist? It had a lot of problems.

What's worse than raining cats and dogs? Hailing taxis.

What do you call a cow with only two legs? Lean beef.

Why shouldn't you play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs.

Did you hear about the cat that aced the test? It got a purr-fect score.

Why is the ocean so clean? It has mer-maids.

Why did the king go to the dentist? He needed a crown.

Did you hear about the archeologist who got fired? His career was in ruins.

I'd tell you a construction joke, but I'm still working on it.

Why don't lions eat clowns? Because they taste funny.

Where do boats go when they're sick? To the dock-tor.

Did you hear about the ghost that joined a soccer team? It wanted to be a ghoulie.

Why did the potato leave the bar? All eyes were on him.

What do you get when you cross a guitar, drums and a car tire? A rubber band.

Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants to the course? In case he got a hole in one.

Why did the boy wear his coat to dinner? Because chili was on the menu.

Did you hear about the baseball player who got arrested? He stole second base.

Why aren't kids allowed to see pirate movies? They're all rated arrrrr.

How much does it cost to hire a deer? A buck.

How did police catch the thief who robbed an Apple store? There was an iWitness.

Why did the coffee cup file a police report? It got mugged.

Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? Thankfully, someone woke her up.

What kind of scientists avoid the sun? Paleontologists.

Why did the financial planner quit his job? He was losing interest.

Did you hear about the guy who decided to hang mirrors for a living? It's something he could see himself doing.

Why do frogs like playing baseball? They're good at catching fly balls.

How did Noah sail his ark at night? Using floodlights.

How do lumberjacks know how many trees they've cut down? They keep a log.

Why are sports stadiums so chilly? Too many fans.

Where do cows get their clothes? From cattle-logs.

What kind of socks should you buy a bear? None. They prefer to go barefoot.

How do honeybees get to school? On the buzz.

Why did Darth Vader go to the dermatologist? He had Star Warts.

Did you hear about the light that got arrested? It went to prism.

Why did the beach get embarrassed? Because it noticed the sea weed.

I'm obsessed with telling airport jokes. My doctor says it's a terminal problem.

Funny Jokes For Adults

I was going to tell you a joke about sodium, but then I thought, "Na."

What's a pirate's favorite subject in school? Arrrr-t.

Did you hear about the killer whale that learned to play the flute? He wanted to be in the orca-stra.

What do you call a crocodile that's always causing trouble? An insta-gator.

I think I'm addicted to cheese. Don't worry, it's only mild.

What kind of shoes do breadsticks wear? Loafers.

Why shouldn't you trust trees? They can be a little shady.

Why didn't the skeleton go skydiving? He didn't have the guts.

If you find out when fishing season begins, let minnow!

What's the best way to make an octopus laugh? With ten-tickles.

Why did the frog take the bus to work? His car got toad.

Why did the man name his puppy "Timex"? He wanted a watchdog.

Why did the pony eat a cough drop? It was a little horse.

What do mermaids wear under their shirts? Algae-bras.

What did the salmon say after hitting a wall? "Dam!"

How do you stop a bull from charging? Take away his credit card.

Did you hear about the gardener who was excited for spring? She wet her plants.

What gift did the dentist get upon retiring? A little plaque.

Why are barbers always on time? They know a lot of shortcuts.

What do bananas wear around the house? Slippers.

Why did the spoon quit his job? He was going stir-crazy.

I told a bad chemistry joke once. It didn't get much of a reaction.

What did the pirate say at his 80th birthday party? "Aye, Matey!"

Why shouldn't you play hide-and-seek at a hospital? You'll always be found in the ICU.

Did you hear about the guy who was afraid of hurdles? He got over it.

Why are elephants so wrinkled? No one knows how to iron them.

How many skunks does it take to make a stink? Just a phew.

What did one sick vampire say to the other? "Is that you coffin?"

When is a car not a car? When it turns into a parking lot.

Why don't insects get sick? They have anty-bodies.

Did you hear about the guy who deposited his watch at the bank? He wanted to save time.

What's a donut's favorite song? "Cruller Summer"

Why do chickens have a lot of parties? They enjoy hen-tertaining.

Why did the pigs move? They were living in a high-grime neighborhood.

I just had the dentist pull out all my teeth. I'm never doing that again.

Why don't seashells take baths? Because they wash up on the beach.

Why shouldn't you trust jungle animals? They're always lion.

What do fish use to buy groceries? Sand dollars.

Did you hear about the robbery at the glue factory? It was a stickup.

Why did the suspenders go to jail? They held up a pair of pants.

Why don't mountains ever get cold? They have snowcaps.

Funny Knock-Knock jokes

Knock, knock! Who's there? Barry. Barry who? Barry nice to meet you.

Knock, knock! Who's there? Aida. Aida who? Aida big lunch and now I'm full.

Knock, knock! Who's there? Iona. Iona who? Iona car. Do you?

Knock, knock! Who's there? Ash. Ash who?! Need a tissue?

Knock, knock! Who's there? Arthur. Arthur who? Arthur any more knock-knock jokes?

Knock, knock! Who's there? Impatient duck. Impatient duck ... QUACK!

Knock, knock! Who's there? Barbie. Barbie who? Barbie-cue is my favorite.

Knock, knock! Who's there? Dwayne. Dwayne who? Dwayne the tub, bathtime is over.

Knock, knock! Who's there? Birds. Birds who? No, but owls do.

Knock, knock! Who's there? Harry. Harry who? Harry up and let me in!

Knock, knock! Who's there? Alison. Alison who? Alison Wonderland.

Knock, knock! Who's there? Shirley. Shirley who? Shirley you must know who I am by now.

Knock, knock! Who's there? Norma Lee. Norma Lee who? Norma Lee I don't tell a lot of knock-knock jokes.

Knock, knock! Who's there? Jewel. Jewel who? Jewel know when you open the door.

Knock, knock! Who's there? Pooch. Pooch who? Pooch your coat on, it's chilly out.

Knock, knock! Who's there? Weed. Weed who? Weed make a cute couple. Let's go out!

Knock, knock! Who's there? Appeal. Appeal who? Appeal is what you find on a banana.

Knock, knock! Who's there? Catsup. Catsup who? Catsup in a tree, better get a ladder.

Knock, knock! Who's there? Genoa. Genoa who? Genoa good barber? I need a haircut.

Knock, knock! Who's there? Hank. Hank who? Oh, you're welcome!

Knock, knock! Who's there? Needle. Needle who? Needle little loan, I'm short on cash this month.

Knock, knock! Who's there? Abby. Abby who? Abby birthday to you!

Funny Woman

Funny Woman landed on our screens in February 2023 with a bang. Based on Funny Girl, the best-selling novel by Nick Hornby, Funny Woman stars Gemma Arterton as a feisty heroine who redefines the prevailing attitude to funny women in the male-dominated world of the 60's.

Set against the backdrop of the Swinging Sixties, we follow Barbara Parker's journey from Blackpool beauty queen to comedy superstar and nation's sweetheart. And after a hit first series, Funny Woman is returning for a second – coming later this year.

The official synopsis for Series 2 of Funny Woman, as released by Sky, reads:

"Series two finds Sophie on a high. She is the nation's favourite TV comedy star; she's got a group of good friends and her romance with Dennis is full of promise. But trouble is just round the corner: Dennis's divorce will take three years; Sophie's new sitcom flops and she uncovers a devastating family secret. Sophie escapes the turmoil by taking a leading role in a film opposite a glamorous French movie heart-throb. The film is a hit and Sophie's slick new US agent offers her a fresh start in Hollywood…

But Sophie returns to London, determined to get the gang back together and to create a new show which reflects her real life, challenges outdated cultural conventions and proves that she and her mates are Funny Women!"

If you're a fan of an easy-to-watch dramedy – this is one for you!

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